


A Taboo Masquerade

by Thy_Undertaker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, AsaNoya - Freeform, Depression, M/M, Omega Heats, Omega Verse, Physical Abuse, Smut Eventually, Tags will be updated accordingly, fic: tab masq, not a drug addiction i swear, self hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:59:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6255571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thy_Undertaker/pseuds/Thy_Undertaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had two choices: to be accepted completely, or rejected completely. With no middle ground, each day became a thicker web of lies and horror. A web I had never wanted any part of, but I was caught in the middle of anyways. Stuck with no way out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, so this is my very first Asanoya fic, as well as my very first attempt at Omegaverse! I took a much different approach than I've ever seen before, and I find it really interesting, so I hope you do as well! 
> 
> One thing that I do want to say is Asahi has no addiction in this fic. If you read to the end of the chapter you'll understand what you need to for now. Everything will be explained as the fic goes on and is updated!
> 
> Enjoy!

The pain came suddenly and all at once, just like it usually did. My vision flashed white and my blurred as my hands shot to cup at my stomach, hoping pressure would alleviate some of the pain currently working at my entire being. When that didn’t work, my hands shot out and gripped my headboard until my knuckles turned white. I bit into my pillow to hold back a scream, tears staining the pillow and sheets beneath me.

 

Tearing, stretching, pulling, grinding radiating aching burning… any kind of pain you can name were simultaneously working against me, so severely that I couldn’t even wish for death. The pain was too much. Death would have been kinder.

 

I’m not sure how long I lay there, writhing and silently screaming as I cried, my vision sliding in and out of focus with every new wave of pain. It felt like an eternity before the violence of the storm ebbed, and within seconds I was blindly grabbing for my pills in the dark that I knew lay on the stand beside me, popping a few in my mouth and groaning softly as the numb darkness overtook my consciousness and carried me back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

  


“Crap, crap, crap, I’m going to be late!” I exclaim, panic rushing over me as I looked over at my alarm clock and it reads 6:00. Morning practice starts in thirty minutes.

 

I forget in my haste about my latest attack and gasp as an aftershock of pain courses through me, just barely catching myself before I fall face first into the floor. I lower myself to the ground and lay there for a brief moment to catch my breath. I knew I would be achy, sore, and woozy for the rest of the day and already I was losing my will to push myself up off the floor.

 

But, like always, I do get up. I swallow the bitter green pills I am forced to take, and as many painkillers as I am allotted that will hopefully get me through the day until I can crawl into bed and silently cry and pray for it all to end.

 

From there, it is mostly mundane. Shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, brush hair, go to morning practice. Granted, today was a bit faster than usual. And more painful. For some reason the painkillers didn’t seem to be doing their job like they usually did, and I was seriously considering skipping practice...

 

If only Daichi wasn’t so scary when he was mad, I probably would have skipped the entire day and faked illness. But with the way I was feeling, it really wasn’t far from the mark.

 

Upon my arrival to school, the first person to greet me was Noya. It was like he could sense my mood, the pain I was in… or I just looked that horrible. I was guessing it was probably the latter. I always felt pretty bad around this time.

 

“Morning, Asahi!” He grinned up at me, as wide-awake and enthusiastic as ever. Somehow, his energy was infectious and a small piece of me couldn’t help but latch onto that never-ending energy. I loved his presence, because it felt so easy to forget, even if for just a few moments around the libero.

 

“Morning, Noya.” I reply with a smile, a smile that has become harder and harder to force with each passing day. It was fraction easier to smile with the exuberant Noya around, but when he wasn’t, I felt as if it took all of my concentration to force the muscles in my face to shape themselves correctly into something resembling that of a smile. At least, I think it resembles a smile anyway.

 

“You look terrible, Asahi. Are you feeling okay?” He asks, peering up at me with large brown eyes suspiciously.

 

“I’m fine. Just a cold.” I wave it off. If only it was just a cold. I would have to come up with a new excuse soon. Nobody got as many ‘colds’ as I’d been getting for the past few months.

 

It was a recent side effect of that drug. It was changing me in ways I didn’t like like. I hated the drug, hated the things it did to me, the way it made me hate myself more and more each day.

 

“You’re pretty weak for an alpha, you know that? I’ve never met an alpha who gets as many colds as you do.” He huffed and crossed his arms. Right. I’d forgotten alphas hardly ever got sick. Dammit.

 

I could only manage a weak, “Oh, you know... hehe...” before hurrying past him into the club room, my head down as I moved swiftly. I could practically feel his gaze burning into the back of my head, dumbfounded and suspicious. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if I was just being paranoid, but there were moments where I felt like they just _knew_ I was deceiving them.

 

And that scared me almost more than my father did. Then again, it was a package deal. I either listened to my father, therefore avoiding the worst of his wrath, and deceived the entire world, or I could allow him to cast me to the side completely, along with the rest of the world.

 

I had two choices: to be accepted completely, or rejected completely. With no middle ground, each day became a thicker web of lies and horror. A web I had never wanted any part of, but I was caught in the middle of anyways. Stuck with no way out.

 

The moment I walk into the club room, the pungent scent of omega hits my nose and I pinch the bridge of it to block it out. It was so strong and… sweet. The scent of heat clinging to everything in there.

 

“What the hell?!” Noya exclaimed behind me, jumping back with eyes suddenly blown wide with a barely controlled lust as he too caught the scent of the omega heat. That was how any normal alpha would react. For me, it was simply mildly unpleasant. The scent of a heat didn’t affect me any more than it affected a beta. Yet another side effect.

 

I released the grip on my nose so I could speak and stepped into the room. “Um, hello?” I called out awkwardly, wondering if there was actually someone in there-and hoping they weren’t-but only silence greeted me. Thank god.

 

“I don’t know where the scent came from, but they aren’t here.” I commented, glancing back to see Noya staring at me, a mix of confusion and awe crossing his face. He had moved away far enough to avoid the scent as much as possible and gain control of himself once again, not an easy feat for an alpha. A young teenage alpha at that.

 

“What the hell? How can you even get near that room? Doesn’t the smell drive you crazy?” His voice was full of disbelief and suddenly I felt panic rise within me. “Ah, um, my nose is just… stuffy…. I can’t smell it very well so it doesn’t really bother me. Cold, and all. Y’know.” The excuses seemed to get lamer and lamer every single time, even I wasn’t buying that.

 

No matter what, the scent of an omega’s heat should immediately drive me wild, calling to my most wild and natural instincts, the need to reproduce, the need to find the omega and to care for them. Not only sexually, but emotionally afterwards. I should want to do everything in my power to please that omega.

 

I felt nothing except a slight discomfort at the sickeningly sweet smell. After all, I was not a proper Alpha.

 

“Sorry, guys! We forgot to warn you! Hinata went into heat earlier. Suga took him home. Should’ve never been here if he knew he was about to go into heat.” Daichi approached us with a scoff, assessing the scene before him. “Am I interrupting something? Don’t tell me you two are getting territorial over a little heat scent?” He joked with a grin. I flushed. Territorial? Not me.

 

“As if. Asahi isn’t territorial in the slightest. It doesn’t even affect him! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a Beta. You act like an omega, smell like an alpha, but respond instinctually like a beta. You are one defective alpha.” Noya commented flippantly before disappearing into the bathroom in the hopes of scrubbing the scent off of him.

 

Meanwhile, I had never felt so dejected. I was trying to be a good alpha, but even for my friends it wasn’t good enough? Somehow, that hurt more than anything my father had ever said.

 

* * *

 

 

Practice. This, this was the one time that I could forget everything. When I rush for the ball and leap, my hand outstretched, the ball sinking carefully into the palm of my hand and resting there for the briefest of moments, then rebounding. That satisfying smack against the floor as my target was met, the rush afterwards, the joy. It was enough to make me smile without even thinking. It was a blissful and unadulterated moment.

 

They were the moments I longed for every other time of the day. They were the moments where everything was forgotten. On a volleyball court, there were no alphas or omega or betas. There was a setter, an ace, a libero, and so many more. Dynamics made no difference on the playing court. And I loved it. More than anything.

 

I wished I never had to leave the court again.

 

One after another, _wack-smack wack-smack wack-smack…_ Every single spike was so liberating. Even just in practice outside of a match, nothing could compare to the other side of the net, such a rare view that only a spiker could experience.

 

But every day I am reminded that nothing lasts forever once I hear sensei’s whistle is blown. I fetch my water bottle from the sidelines and stand with everyone else as I listen to him talk about the schedule next week. Finally, we break and I move to put the balls away when suddenly I hear an exclamation of surprise beside me.

 

“What is that smell? Someone reeks of omega. I have never smelled such a powerful omega that wasn’t heat smell.” Daichi announced, pinching the bridge of his nose. The scent of an omega, pushing through the insanely overpowering scent of so many alphas in this gym? It just didn’t seem possible. Whatever or whoever it was, I couldn’t detect it. Then again, I didn’t have a powerful alpha nose like Tanaka or the rest of them

 

Suddenly, it was like that was more interesting than anything else. After all, there were only two omegas one the team, one of which was absent due to heat. Everyone immediately looked towards Yamaguchi, but he didn’t smell any different than normal.

 

“Asahi, have you been sleeping with someone?” The question came from nowhere and I jumped back with a yelp as Noya suddenly appeared directly beside me.

 

“W-w-who? Me? N-no.” I stammered, surprised at the sudden accusation. Who would _I_ of all people be sleeping with? To start with, I was not interested in any omegas, that was for sure. Even the drugs could not change that. No mix of plants or chemicals or science could change his base instincts, his most natural desires.

 

Noya sidled up closer and smelled my uniform, giving me a sly grin. “Oh yeah? Then why do you reek of omega?” He asked, loud enough for Tanaka beside him to hear, who came whipping around in order to probe me with questions.

 

My heart began racing as panic slowly invaded me, crowding my thoughts and blurring my thought process.

 

Omega? _I_ smelled like an omega? That wasn’t right. That couldn’t be right.

 

Without thinking, my legs carried me away from the team, leaving them surprised and dumbfounded and I raced to the room we were borrowing to keep our stuff in for practice, my hands fumbling for the pocket of my bag where I kept a hidden stash of my medication in case of an emergency. This was definitely an emergency. I shouldn’t be smelling like an omega. Not today, not tomorrow, never.

 

In my haste, however, the case was knocked free from my hands as I let out a yelp, the large green pills scattering across the floor with a loud clattering noise and I scrambled to pick them up quickly, hoping no one would come in before I managed to hide them again.

 

Finally, my shaking hands had found every single dropped pill and I popped two into my mouth, swallowing them dry and gasping a little, resting my hands against the lockers in front of me and allowing my head to droop between my shoulder blades.

 

I couldn’t let the world know my true identity.

  
After all, it was taboo for an Omega to fake being an Alpha.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's a little short, but the next chapter should be a little longer as this was more of a necessary gateway chapter.

Almost a week had passed since that day, and Asahi had doubled his dosage of the ghost drug, but nothing was helping. Fortunately, it was a weekend but he could no longer suppress his growing heat and he lay naked in his bed as clothes were too painful and itchy to wear.

 

He’d only ever endured a single heat when he was 11, but that had been his first heat and it was nothing compared to this. An omega’s first heat wasn’t painful. A little uncomfortable and unpleasant, yes, but it was mostly an omega’s body preparing for puberty as they wouldn’t begin regular heats for several years after their very first heat. 

 

However, Asahi began taking the ghost drug as soon as he presented as an omega. On top of that, he had begun taking heat suppressants. While heat suppressants weren’t uncommon among teenagers, your very first heat and your first full-fledged heat are impossible to suppress.

 

This was Asahi’s. He hadn’t been able to suppress it, and he wondered what his father would say, or do. Every time Asahi exhibited more omegan traits, his father seemed to get more aggressive and angry towards him.

 

Would this be the final straw? He wasn’t sure and honestly it scared him. It scared him to think of losing his family, his friends, the life he had worked so hard to build around him. He loved volleyball, he loved his team, what would he do if he lost them? If they found out he’d been lying to them for years now… Asahi wasn’t sure what he would do, or what he could handle.

 

It was several hours before his scent seemed to attract any knocks, and he whimpered when his mother knocked. “Asahi?” Her voice was muffled by the door between them. “Can I open the door?”

 

“No!” It was more of a cry than anything, filled with fear and pain. “Please don’t come in, I’m begging you.” Maybe then his father wouldn’t smell his heat. Maybe then he could just pretend like nothing had ever happened. If he just got through this one without any help maybe they could just pretend like it never happened. 

 

_ You’re an alpha, Asahi. You were born to be an alpha and you’ll always be one. You’re an alpha. Show everyone that. You need to man up and stop being a wimp. You. Are. An. Alpha. _

 

It was a mantra he had been forced to hear and repeat countless times. But just thinking it made him cry. It was hard to be something you weren’t. It was hard accepting the reality that he would never be able to take on a mate. He would watch his friends and peers take on mates and have children, watch them with respect and admiration and love for their omegas and alphas. 

 

He could never have something like that.

 

Asahi whimpered and tugged at his clothing. Even though he could never have it, Asahi couldn’t help but imagine a pair of big golden brown eyes looking up at him lovingly. The thought had him itching to pull off his clothes and to relieve the heat building within him.

 

The more the image swam through his mind, the more powerful his heat seemed to become and the more that heat within him grew. To the point where he had to pull of his clothes, they were like sandpaper against this skin and he couldn’t stand them for a single moment longer. 

 

He couldn’t help but slide his hand to his lower body, grasping himself as he attempted to rid himself of this heat. This oh so painful heat had him gasping and writhing in his sheets, rubbing himself fiercely. His hand, the bed, just searching for relief. He had never felt such raw, animalistic urges before. 

 

Asahi couldn’t say he liked them.

 

\---

 

Finally, the boy lay still and succumbed to sleep. After almost 72 hours his heat had completely subsided. He was a mess, shaking and dripping with cold sweat, covered in his own disgusting body fluids, dehydrated and starving. His mother had come in and forced him to drink several times, and each time Asahi cried out for her to leave, he could not bear for her to see him in such a weak and disgusting state. 

 

But finally, he succumbed to a deep sleep. It only took him seconds after closing his heavy eyelids. 

 

\---

 

Asahi only felt shame as he left his room for the first time in days the following evening, hanging his head but also alert for signs of his father. He needed to bathe and do laundry. 

 

And eat, his stomach reminded him with an impossibly loud growl.

 

Everything was peaceful for a small portion of time, his mother quietly doing her housework and preparing dinner quietly. The quietness in the house scared him, his anxiety only building over time.

 

When his father came home, Asahi was sitting on the couch in an oversized sweater and sweats, chewing on his nails anxiously, but he stopped when his angry scent washed over the house.

 

“Look who finally decided to join us.” HIs father’s eyes were cold, hard, distant… and they scared Asahi. Something about them was different than ever and he was honestly terrified.

 

“Welcome home.” I stood and bowed, trembling before him as i did so. My bow was only met with the hard force of his fist as it connected with my face.

 

“Do you think you’re some omega bitch?” He roared. “What right do you think you have to bring your nasty stench into  _ my _ house? You’re an alpha now, so act like it.” His tone was dark, yet it didn’t drip with loathing like usual. It was cold and hard and seemed to make the kick into Asahi’s gut more painful. He only felt the first few, and then it just became a fire . It would peak and lower, peak and lower, until Asahi felt nothing.

 

Finally, his father walked away, leaving the boy curled in on himself gasping for air and clutching at his abdomen, face soaked with his own blood. He didn’t know how long he lay there until he forced himself up. From there he was on auto pilot and he wasn’t sure how he made it to his room. Or when for that matter.

 

He cried for a long time, now curled on his bedroom floor instead of the living room floor, before succumbing to another deep sleep.

 

\---

 

“Where have you been?” Noya demanded, stopping him on the way into the school gates. His deep brown eyes staring up at him with that strong hard look. It made Asahi want to crumble and cry right there, but he attempted to stand tall, only to wince and fail.

 

“You’ve been missing practice and school and you aren’t answering any of my messages. I- what happened to your face?” 

 

He had done his best to clean up that morning, but the gash on his temple didn’t allow for that. His abdomen and sides were almost completely covered in bruises of varying severity. He was honestly surprised something nothing had ruptured. He wondered if his father would have let him lay there and die.

 

“I… I was in an accident and I wasn’t feeling well. I wasn’t trying to ignore you, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, eyes trailing across the ground. He couldn’t meet the alpha’s eyes. He felt ashamed and a blush covered his cheeks as he remembered those same eyes from his imagination several days earlier.

 

“What? Why didn’t you tell anyone, you idiot. I would have brought you some good food and we could have skipped together. You should’ve at least told the team, we’ve all been worried about you.

 

“I’m okay. I’m a little sore, though.” He wondered how long it would take for the bruises to fade. This wasn’t the first time his father had punished him, but he’d never been called an omega bitch.

 

He was an alpha.

 

Yet he didn’t feel like one, even as he took a double dose of those green pills this morning.

 

Why was he doing this, again?

 

“Come on, we have class.” His words were almost soft, or maybe it was Asahi’s imagination, and he grinned and led the way towards the main building.

 

What was he doing all this for, anyways?


	3. MESSAGE TO THE READER

I just wanted to let y'all know that I am not abandoning this fic. I have been busy but also I am working on this fic in the background and have decided to write most if not all of the remaining chapters before updating again. I will be doing this for all future fics as well that are currently in the writing stages so I can ensure that there are more regular updates. Hopefully, this will start to be updated from June although I have a busy class schedule and won't have a computer until the end of next week do we'll have to see.

Once I DO get to a point where I'm happy continuing to update I will be updating weekly on a specific date that I will choose at that time. When this happens, I will post on my tumblr Thy-Undertaker.

Thank you all who have supported this fic so far, I appreciate your patience.

[ This update chapter will be deleted once the story continues ]

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this fic, please leave comments and/or kudos, they would be very much appreciated!
> 
> My tumblr  
> thy-undertaker.tumblr.com
> 
> All fic updates will be posted on my tumblr.


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